The CEO of women-only members club AllBright has spoken of her feelings of ‘shame’ and an ‘instinct to hide away’.
Earlier this month the women-only members club was rescued out of administration by an investee company of London-based real estate investment firm Cain International.
AllBright, which describes itself as the leading career network for women via digital and physical spaces, had been forced to close its five-storey townhouse in the exclusive area of London’s Mayfair.
Instead members were given access to a ‘co-hosted’ residence, Old Sessions House in Farringdon.
AllBright’s administration came just six years after a £13m investment had valued the business at £100m.
It’s thought to have struggled with the combination of rising rents and the post-pandemic world.
Now CEO Viviane Paxinos has opened up about her feelings of ‘shame’.
Although she doesn’t refer to AllBright by name in the LinkedIn article she wrote: “I made a business decision that sat like a knot in my chest. Every leader knows this feeling – those necessary choices that, even when right for the long term, change people’s lives.
“It’s part of leading, but it weighs on you. It weighed on me. That’s when I experienced something rarely discussed in leadership circles: shame.
“I felt it in every fibre of my being – the instinct to hide away, the inner voice questioning everything I thought I knew.”
She added: “I discovered I wasn’t alone in these feelings. This was a shared yet often silenced experience among women in leadership.
“The data confirms what I was feeling: women leaders are 2.5 times more likely to experience shame and self-doubt after business setbacks, and we’re twice as likely to blame ourselves for business setbacks compared to our male counterparts.
“We’re told to be strong, but not too strong. Be confident but stay humble. Be ambitious, but don’t appear pushy. And heaven forbid we make a mistake – while our male colleagues are often praised for taking bold risks, we’re picked apart and criticised for the smallest missteps.
“One tough decision, even when it’s the right one for the business, and suddenly everything we’ve built, all our achievements, can be overshadowed by judgment and criticism.
“The reality is stark – 43 per cent of women leaders are considering stepping down or downshifting their careers.
“The burden isn’t just emotional; it’s practical. We spend 25 per cent more time on non-promotable tasks, face twice the scrutiny in our decisions, and are expected to navigate an increasingly complex landscape of expectations.
“If we want to see more women in C-suite positions, we need to start having honest conversations about shame and its impact on leadership.
“We need to create spaces where women can acknowledge these feelings without fear of being perceived as weak or unsuitable for leadership roles.”
Paxinos said leadership is ‘messy, complex (and) lonely’ adding: “Until you’ve carried the weight of responsibility for people’s livelihoods, until you’ve had to choose between difficult options with no perfect answer, you cannot truly understand what this journey entails.”
She said was sharing her story to help others.
“Somewhere right now, another woman leader is carrying the same feelings,” she said. “And I want you to know you’re not alone. I want you to remember: those moments that feel the heaviest, the decisions that seem impossible – they aren’t breaking you; they’re building you.”